MATT GRAY'S APARTMENT
"Matt," Sarah says uncomfortably,
the words creeping through her suddenly dry mouth. "I ... I don't know
what to say."
She is certain that he can feel the
same incredible tension that she feels, but out of nowhere, he breaks their
stare and turns away.
"Sorry," he says quickly. "That was--I
was outta line. I know you're still getting through this Brent thing."
Neither of them makes a move for
what feels like a painful eternity, but then Sarah moves in to him and
places a warm hand on his shoulder. It feels so strong under her touch,
perhaps even stronger now that he's closing himself off from her.
"I am still trying to pull myself
through everything with Brent," she says softly. Worried that that sounds
like too much of a 'let-you-down-easy,' she adds quickly, "But I really
do value you. You need to know that."
She feels him soften beneath her
hand. "You have been incredible to me through all of this," she continues.
"You supported me while I made mistake after mistake. You were there for
me when no one else was. Without you there I probably would have run myself
off the tracks by now. And even when I pushed too hard -- you waited for
me to come around. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you."
"... But you can't make any promises
now. I get that." His voice is rough, like those are the last words he
wants to be saying, except that it hurts a lot less to hear himself speaking
them than to hear them coming from Sarah's mouth.
"No, I can't." She slides her hand
down off his shoulder, and it lingers on his muscular back for a second.
"Because you're too important to me. I'm not going to make promises to
you that I can't keep. You don't deserve to get hurt like that."
At last he allows his eyes to rest
on her. Sarah is sure that she sees some torture flickering behind the
screen, the depths of which she cannot even imagine. But she wants to know
it, and she wants to wash it away.
Watching him standing there, stubble
dotting his chin and cheeks, lips drawn tightly together, and watching
Victoria happily tearing her way through the pile of presents, Sarah becomes
aware for the first time of a new part inside herself, suddenly free. She
does want this.
"Come on," she says, giving Matt's
hand a squeeze. "I've got an idea that'll make this a real Christmas."
END OF EPISODE #238
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