CHASE HOME
"It's not like he was in an easy
position," Lauren says, not quite sure why she is arguing on behalf of
Jason. "Alex confided in him -- what kind of guy would he be if he turned
around and told us?"
"I'm not saying he had to tell us
the minute Alex told him," Courtney counters. "But he should've stepped
in when he saw how out of control things were getting. It's not like there
was an isolated incident of Alex getting a little too friendly with you
... He led you on for, like, a year and a half!"
"Shouldn't you be more mad at Alex
over that?" Then she adds, more quietly, "I know I am."
"I am upset with the way Alex handled
the whole thing. But he was also the one who was confused! Maybe he wasn't
sure ... what he wanted. Jason was watching the whole thing from
the outside."
Lauren is able to see the logic in
that argument, even though it is hard for her to shift the focus of her
anger away from Alex.
"And besides," Courtney continues,
"it sounds like Jason knew for a long time. I don't know how many times
he and I talked about you and Alex. It's like he was lying to my face --
or treating me like a total idiot, or both -- that whole time! It's really
hard to swallow, you know?"
"Yeah," Lauren says slowly, still
processing the idea, "yeah, I can understand that. But c'mon -- is this
really something the two of you can't work through?"
"I don't know. I didn't say I'm not
willing to work on it. I just need some time for things to settle down.
It's like I'm looking at a totally different relationship all of a sudden."
"Well, what about skating? It's not
like you can just put that on hold til you figure out where your relationship
is going."
"I know ... I need to figure that
out. I've been trying to." The pain is evident in Courtney's voice, and
Lauren shudders to think of how she would handle things if she were in
the same situation. "Part of me just wants to go back to how things were
before I found out about this. Jason and I have had years and years of
good times and fun and ... the last few months were so great. But then
that just makes it feel like even more of a betrayal."
Lauren looks away. "I'm sorry this
is all happening just because I was too dumb to see what was going on.
If I'd known what this would do to you and Jason--"
"Lauren, stop it. This is not your
fault." Courtney waits until Lauren is looking at her again. "I love you.
You're my best friend, and we are gonna get through this no matter what."
"I hope so."
"We will. Don't blame yourself for
any of this ... You had no way of knowing what was really going on."
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