SARAH TAYLOR'S APARTMENT
The television hums in the background,
but Sarah
is paying little attention to it. At the small dining table,
she finishes the last bite of a sandwich. She rises to bring her plate
to the sink just as Matt
emerges from the bedroom.
"... and she's
out like a light,"
he announces.
Sarah sets her dish in the sink.
"Terrific! Now all we have to do is get her to nap like this every day
and we'll be set. Maybe then she'd stay asleep for a whole night."
"She been waking up a lot?"
"I don't know if it's a lot," she
says with a shrug, "but it feels like it. My sleep has been so broken up
lately ..."
"Well, if you ever want me to take
her for a night--"
"Nah, I think I can handle her. Besides--"
She inhales deeply and then lets the air out thoughtfully. "--I think I
might get lonely without her."
Matt leans against the wall. "You've
really taken to this motherhood thing."
A smirk lights up her face. "Yeah,
I guess I have." She turns on the water and begins to rinse off the dish.
"And as far as I can tell, you're not doing so badly with this father thing,
either."
"Guess not." He clasps his hands
together behind his head, accentuating the muscles in his upper arms. Sarah
glances over but quickly jerks her eyes away.
"I never really thought I'd be any
good at being a dad," Matt says, dropping his arms. "Or that I'd want to
be good at it."
Sarah turns the water off. She picks
up the plate and sweeps over its surface a few times with a dishtowel before
placing it in the rack to dry.
"Do you worry about screwing up?"
she asks once she has set the plate down. "About being a really awful parent?
It's like, no matter how hard I try, I worry that I won't be able to do
it, you know?"
"Totally ... But don't worry, you're
not going to screw up."
"Matt, look at what a mess I made
of her birth. How am I supposed to hold myself together for the
next eighteen years -- or the rest of her life, even -- well enough not
to mess her up completely?"
Matt spends a moment fishing for
his words, but once he finds them they flow smoothly. "Because you care.
Because you love her and you want to give her the best life you can."
"I just keep thinking that it can't
be that simple," Sarah sighs. "Look at my family. I know that my
parents love us and have always wanted what's best for us -- but it didn't
stop us from winding up with problems. Stuff gets in the way. Like ...
I told you about Claire's father,
didn't I?"
Matt nods.
"There's a perfect example. He did
love her and he wanted what he thought was best for her -- that just happened
to include getting her away from Tim and the life she had. Don't you worry
about stuff like that -- about making mistakes without knowing it? Isn't
-- wasn't -- there stuff in your family that makes you think like that?"
Matt doesn't say anything. His eyes
move to the floor, and when they come up, he speaks quickly and without
looking directly at Sarah. "I see what you mean. But hey, I've gotta get
going."
He makes a move for the door, but
Sarah remains frozen by the sink.
He is almost at the door when her
voice stops him in his tracks. "Not so fast, mister."
He answers without turning around.
"What?"
"That was not so smooth," she says,
her arms folded in front of her.
"Huh?"
She cocks her head to the side. "Why
do you refuse to talk about your family?"
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