CASSIE'S COFFEE HOUSE
"Dammit," Alex mutters as he scratches
the pen through the last string of words he laid down in his notebook.
This isn't working. It hasn't been
working for weeks, months, however long it's been since he began trying
to get this thing in motion.
It should be gelling by now. It's
not like this is an unfamiliar story. All the other times he's tried to
start a novel in the past, he's struggled because he never had a good enough
idea of what the story should be or why he was trying to tell it. But this
story -- he knows this story, probably better than he even wants to.
Maybe that's the problem,
he tells himself as he sets the pen down and drops his head into his hands.
If
only I didn't have to write this thing ... If I could just let it
go ... Then maybe things would get easier.
But he can't let it go, he knows
that now. He tried to bury it for years, but it was always there, lying
dormant. And when he let himself back into that time again, it was as though
the floodgates had been opened. He's been obsessing over all of it for
weeks on end.
That was the last time he had hope
-- really, truly had it. Jason's
support has been an amazing sigh of relief,
but at the same time, it's been a burden. Because he has had to accept
that it's never going to be anything beyond friendship. Not that that's
a bad thing, but it would be nice to have the possibility of something
else ...
Like I did once. It was more
than the possibility; it was something else. But before he realized
what it was, what it could have become, it was gone. And right now, there's
a hole inside of him whispering that it will never be like that again.
END OF EPISODE #237
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so wrapped up in the past? What did you think of the scenes between Stan
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