CHASE HOME
"Honestly ... I don't know." Courtney
rolls onto her back, burying her head among the pile of pillows. "I need
more time. To think about it, figure out exactly what was going on, all
that stuff."
Lauren's attention is caught by a
framed photograph of Courtney and Jason in costume from a skating event.
"So you think you might be able to forgive him for this?"
No sound comes from the bed for a
long time. "Maybe," Court finally says. "Not now. Not this soon. And not
until he gives me good reason to."
"I just can't believe Jason would
have let this go on for so long. He's such a good guy."
"Or we thought he was."
"You've known him for so long, Court.
I think you would've figured it out before now if he wasn't." Lauren picks
up the picture of Jason and Courtney, studying it even more closely.
"I don't know what to believe right
now," Courtney sighs. "Everything feels like it's totally upside-down."
Suddenly she scrambles up from her position on the bed and reaches out
for the photo. Lauren hands it over.
Courtney's gaze moves up and down
the length of Jason's photographed body. He looks like the same person
she has known all these years, but his personality seems like something
totally abstract. Something that was an illusion all along.
"I wonder ..." She places the photo
face-down on the bed, suddenly unable to look at it. "I wonder if something
happened -- between Alex and Jason, I mean."
"What do you mean?" Lauren's eyes
go wide with shock as understanding comes to her. "You mean, happened
happened?"
"Yeah. Maybe that's why Jason didn't
tell us sooner. Because if we knew that, we'd be one step closer to putting
it all together."
"No way," Lauren says with an emphatic
shake of the head. "Jason wouldn't have fooled around with Alex. I mean,
he's ... he's totally into you, you know that? He's not gay, Court."
Hearing that seems to be enough for
Courtney, but it still provides her with no answers, and certainly with
no comfort. "I just don't know what to think anymore. I don't even know
if I can trust him."
Lauren folds her hands in her lap
and drops her head. "Man ... I can't even imagine what this has to be like
for you. There's no way I could trust Alex again, not right now. Or any
guy, for that matter."
This is exactly what has been worrying
Courtney ever since she figured out the truth about Alex. Lauren's confidence
in men -- and in herself -- was low enough before. This sure isn't going
to help it.
"What the hell does it matter?" Lauren
continues, exasperated. "If I'm not gonna be good with guys, I might as
well be downright terrible, huh?"
Courtney prepares to launch into
the reassurances that have become too much of a routine for them, aching
for Lauren and for all the damage that has been done. Jason's not getting
off the hook for this so easily.
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