WHITNEY'S HOUSE
"Yeah, I can imagine,"
Jason nods.
"Look, bro, I'm behind you 100 percent, like I said before. If you wanna
talk or just have someone to hang out with or whatever, I'm totally here."
He gives Alex's shoulder a squeeze.
The touch sends that same thrill
through Alex again. He can remember the feel of Jason's hands on him that
night ... almost two years ago now. For that instant, everything was right.
Everything was going to turn out perfectly.
And then it all got shot to hell,
of course. But the unbelievable sensations of that moment -- the sensations
he had thought he would never feel again -- have stayed with Alex, and
he's called on them more times than he can even remember. If only that
feeling would stay. If only ...
He looks up at Jason, meeting his
eyes -- so supportive, dazzling with kindness and intelligence and that
crazy spark of humor. That's everything I want.
He's everything I want.
And suddenly, that long-ago night
and
that perfect moment don't feel so far away anymore.
Alex swallows hard and reaches his
hand up to touch Jason's cheek.
Jason's gaze suddenly grows a thousand
times harder.
"Jason ..." Alex manages, his voice
little more than a croak.
He can't identify the emotion --
or emotions -- that have seized Jason, but it is clear that they have petrified
him. "What?" he asks. Alex can't even hear it over the music, but the movements
of his lips are enough.
"Thank you," he says finally, letting
his hand fall away.
Jason relaxes before his eyes. Now
his face -- eyes, mouth, brow, all of it -- is begging for some sort of
explanation.
"Thank you for being so cool with
me," Alex says, trying to keep his voice down but finding it very difficult.
"You've been ... totally unbelievable through this whole thing. I know
I've been impossible and confusing and--the way you've stuck by me, it's
like it makes it all okay."
The declaration seems to have shocked
Jason, but slowly a smile spreads across his face. "You're welcome, bud.
If you feel like you're comfortable or--or at least getting there, then
I'm happy for ya."
"Thanks, Jay." Alex's first instinct
is to give him a hug, and he is acting on it before he realizes it. He
tries to make it feel more masculine, more platonic.
When they part, he's not sure that
he can look Jason in the face. Thankfully, he sees
Lauren coming towards
them and shifts his attention to her.
"Hey, what's up?" he asks awkwardly,
trying his best to maintain his balance on what feels like a terribly treacherous
tightrope.
"Not much," she says. "Jay, could
you give us a minute alone?"
"Oh yeah, sure," Jason says. "I,
uh, I'll see you guys later." He makes his exit without hesitation.
"So ..." Alex leads, feeling the
awkwardness about to suffocate them.
"Yeah." Lauren draws in a deep breath
and then releases it in a heavy rush. "I, um, I need to talk to you. It's
really important."
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