FISHERMAN'S PIER
"I've been meaning--I've wanted to
clear this up for a long time," Alex begins. His fingers play idly with
one another and he keeps his focus down, on their movements. "But I was
never totally sure ... I'm not even
sure that I am now, completely, but it's enough to--"
"You don't have to do this," Lauren
interrupts.
He looks up at her sharply. "Do what?"
"Put yourself through this. I can
tell what you're trying to do, Alex, and I can tell that you're having
trouble doing it." Her face softens with compassion. "You don't have to.
I get it."
Alex just stares at her, trying to
get a read. He knows he must look like a deer caught in headlights, but
he can't help it. And right now, he doesn't really care ... How could she
know? How--
"You'd be surprised how many times
I've heard this," Lauren adds.
"You--what?"
"I hear it a lot. That you just wanna
be friends, that this isn't going to work as a relationship, blah blah
blah. I know the drill." She drops her hands to the table and her palms
slap down. "I'm sorry I put you in this position. I should have known--"
"Lauren, you didn't--"
"This is how it always turns out,"
she continues without pause. "And I ... I know I get too attached, but
it's hard not to, you know? Every time I think that maybe that's it, that
it'll be the time when it actually works and doesn't just fizzle out. And
it never is."
Alex feels like he should use the
space to say something, to turn the conversation around, but the unexpected
shower of information has thrown him.
Lauren fills the space instead, plowing
ahead like a runaway train. "I don't think I ever told you this, but it
was kinda this way with Jason, too. I mean, it was completely different,
but it wound up being the same thing. Courtney set me up on a date with
him and I really liked him, but then I realized how in love she was with
him, so I let it go. And of course they totally belong together, but it's
just another example of how stuff like that always happens to me."
She sighs and momentarily closes
her eyes. When she opens them, it is as if whatever just came over her
has passed.
"I'm sorry," she says. It almost
sounds as though she is pleading for forgiveness. "I shouldn't have thrown
all of that on you. I--"
"Hold it."
Once she is quiet and paying attention,
Alex says, "That wasn't what I was going to say."
Confusion hangs off the end of her
tongue for a split-second before she speaks. "It wasn't?"
"No. Not at all ..." The rest of
Alex's words clash in his throat and come out as nothing.
"I am such a retard," Lauren moans
with a shake of her head. "It's just like me to jump to conclusions like
that and make myself look like even more of an idiot than I am, right?
The one time something good is actually happening, I manage to screw it
up anyway ..."
"Huh?"
"You do wanna give this a
shot, right?"
"W-what?"
"That's what you were gonna say,
isn't it? That you want this? I just assumed it was gonna be bad news,
but hey, I'll take this." She flashes him a smile.
"Oh, uh, yeah," Alex manages, trying
to catch up with his spinning head. "Yeah."
"I'm so glad," Lauren enthuses. "I
still feel like kind of a dork saying this, but ... I have had it so bad
for you for so long." She tries to temper the embarrassing words with a
giggle.
"Really?"
"Yeah." She reaches across the table
and grasps his hands in hers. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
Alex does his best to conjure up
a weak smile as the waiter arrives with their drinks.
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