MORIANI HOME
"What!?" Ryan cries, more of a statement
that he refuses to believe it than a question.
"I might be moving here," Stan repeats.
"Why?" Ryan is so flustered that
he has no idea where to begin.
"I've been seeing a woman who lives
here. It's gettin' a little serious now and I figure, I don't really got
much going on anyway, so why not come out here, right? Plus I'd get to
see you more."
"Yeah." Ryan rolls his eyes, half-concealing
the gesture even though he is kind of hoping that Stan will notice it.
He doesn't.
"It'll be nice, huh? I know I haven't
been too great about comin' out to see you or callin' and stuff ..." The
thought trails off. Ryan gets the impression that Stan is hoping it will
be implied and understood, but Ryan wants to hear him say it.
When Stan doesn't say anything more,
Ryan speaks up. "You just drop by every couple of months and say that.
Ever think it's going to be too late?"
Stan's features sag and, suddenly,
he looks every day of his fifty-something years to Ryan. "I'm sorry, Ry,
I am," he says, almost mumbling. "You know I get busy and I have stuff
to take care of ... That's just how I am. If I'm living here it'll be a
helluva lot easier--"
"Yeah, great, that's what I need,"
Ryan mutters, pounding his fist against the open door.
"What?" There is a sharp note of
offense in Stan's voice. Ryan knows that it is probably a move to gain
sympathy -- yet again -- but it just fuels whatever is raging inside of
him now.
"Do you have to keep doing this?"
he explodes. "Are you trying to torture me? Is that what this is?
Because I am getting pretty damn sick of it!"
"What are you talking about?"
"You just come flying in and out
of my life, make a giant mess, and then blow the hell back out so you don't
have to deal with any of it! It's getting really freaking old, Stan!"
Stan's age is showing now, more than
Ryan thought was even possible. "I don't understand what's goin' on with
you, kid."
"Of course you don't! You have no
idea!" Ryan's voice has maintained its roar up until this point but now
it drops back down, and he is speaking in between deep huffs. "This is
the way it's always been with you. Do you know how many times I have wished
that it would change, that we could just have a good relationship? I'm
beginning to realize that it's never gonna change. It can't."
It looks as though Stan has been
punched in the stomach. Ryan is flooded with sudden remorse, even though
he hates it, as Stan says, "I dunno what's going on with you. All of a
sudden you just start throwin' this all in my face ... I gotta go. I'll
come by some other time when you can talk normally."
He turns and heads away from the
house, a scene Ryan has watched too many times in too many different places.
He wants to keep watching but instead slams the door, hoping that the noise
chills Stan.
Ryan turns around and leans against
the closed door, confronted again by the dark, nearly silent house. The
TV is still buzzing in the background and he can see its light falling
out of the living room. Suddenly he has the urge to go in and smash the
screen in.
Something inside stops him, and he
realizes that he knows why. Smashing the television isn't what he really
wants to do.
If I'd only had the balls to say
what I really wanted to Stan ... but I didn't. I don't.
He goes back to the living room,
hoping he can leave the encounter out here. Somehow he doubts it will be
possible.
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