KING'S BAY METROPOLITAN HOTEL
Jason's silence sucks all the air
out of the room. Courtney can feel her breathing getting tighter as her
heart begins thudding against her chest.
"Jay, what's wrong?"
She hears him sigh heavily but he
makes no move. She is about to reach out a hand and turn him herself when
he finally begins to roll over.
"It's nothing," he says as he settles
slowly onto his back.
"Which, loosely translated, means
that it's something. So tell me what it is." When she sees him struggling
to respond, she says, "After what we just shared--I don't want us to have
to keep things from each other. Tell me what's wrong."
Jason stares up at the ceiling as
he speaks, not risking the chance of eye contact. "What you said before
about being glad you waited ... I was thinking how much I regret what happened
with Shannon and me."
For Courtney, the barrier between
them is broken completely now. She clasps his hand tightly in hers and
strokes his fingers. "That doesn't matter. It was a completely different
thing from what we just did."
"I know. I keep trying to separate
the two in my head. But it's like the time with Shannon -- and don't get
me wrong, this was just, like, incredible -- but the time with Shannon
kinda tainted it. Because I didn't get to have that same experience you
had of it being your first time ... I didn't get to share that with you."
"That is so sweet," she says with
a soft smile. "And so un-guy-like. Have you been reading romance novels
or something?"
He grins at the comment, although
the effort feels like a bit much. "I dunno, maybe I'm just being stupid,"
he says finally.
"No, you're not. The fact that this
matters to you, that it means so much to you that you want every little
detail to be perfect--that just makes it better. But let it go, Jay. What
happened with Shannon was just a big mess. I don't want that to have any
bearing on our relationship now."
She can see his hesitance but he
eventually assents. His body gives in to her touch and he rolls over onto
his side so that he can stroke her hair.
"I love you so much. Thank you,"
he says, his lips turning up into just enough of a grin for his whole face
to light up. Courtney finds herself wishing that she could capture the
expression in a photograph and stare at it forever.
"I love you, too," she says after
silently drinking him in for a moment. She feels his lips come down upon
hers as his weight moves back on top of her.
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